Relax

I took a yoga class today. I figured, after yesterday's preschool smack down a good hour of non-kid meditation sounded good. Plus, I've been a bit worried that I'm bulking up my fat doing weightlifting- the whole point of this is to slim down, not to enhance the Peasant Polishness of my shoulders.

As class was gearing up, 2 elderly gentlemen walked into class. My gym is located right next to a senior care facility- and a lot of these old-folk use the gym as a way to build a social life. I honestly think these 2 geezers were joining the class in hopes of standing behind some hottie doing downward facing dogs. Instead, they got Polish-Peasant me.

You're supposed to close your eyes and meditate, but my mind was kind of going all over the place. Here are a few of my thoughts:

• "Holy cow. I really need a pedicure. I should get this up close and personal with my toes more often."
• "Oh my God- that old guy has nasty feet. He's got varicose veins and I think he 's missing one toenail."
• "Uh oh. Someone just farted, and it wasn't me."
• "You want me to put my leg where? And my hand there? And wrap my other hand around my what? Are you really human?"
• "Do not look at yourself in the mirror. I repeat- DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR."

Nameste everyone!