Thursday, March 25, 2010

A Random, Useless Update

1. I am sick. A horrible cold has infested my body and turned me into a snivelly, snotty cranky pants. Luckily, Netflix delivered my copy of "New Moon" and I'll have some Mrs. Robinson's Cougar oogling to do over Edward to make me feel better.

2. The much talked about talent show is this Saturday. You can bet your bottom dollar I'll be there with my camera, and will give you guys a full report. Someone recently, anonymously, commented "Stop The Insanity!": and I hear you sister. (or brother, since I'm not sure which gender of anonymous you are). I promise to give all the salacious details as it unfolds.

3. Is anyone watching the show "Parenthood?" If not, please fix this as soon as possible. It somehow captures the melancholy looniness of family life in a way that doesn't dumb things down for the audience. And on the flip side? American Idol has completely jumped the shark. I never thought I'd miss Paula Abdul so much.

4. Has anyone tried Pop Chips? I'm on a hunt for them- and hope they satisfy that 3:00pm gnaw off my arm hunger that is inhibiting my weight loss progress. Pop Chips, I will find you.

5. My kids are now completely obsessed with American Girl. I bought the DVD set of movies at Costco, and suddenly found myself explaining black out raids, circa WWII, and child labor laws. Thanks American Girl, for making me parent a little harder.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Out Of Luck

Today was one of those days. One of those days you don't want to remember when you're gumming jello in the assisted living center. My oldest anklebiter's elementary school is getting out early all week- for parent teacher conferences. So when I showed up for pickup, there was a ton of parents that aren't normally there at that hour. The street was clogged, cars were lining up one after another.

My minivan had been parked against the curb for fifteen minutes. 1-5. As I toted my kids back to the car, there was a woman standing in front of it, looking sheepish.

"Is this your car?" she asked, nervously.

I nodded my head and noticed my left bumper was hanging on by a thread.

She quickly explained that she had run into my car, and was in the process of writing me a note. As I listened to her explain, I found myself consoling her. Patting her on the arm, assuring her that no one was hurt, it could have been worse, yadda yadda yadda. She told me how her husband was going to kill her, how she had never hit anyone before how, OMG! I can't believe this has happened!

I took her info, got the kids in the car, and tried to make my way out of the parking spot. Except the woman that had hit me penned me in. And she was so flustered, she had to leave her car running and jump out to tell the car in front of her the whole damn story. Which left me boxed in. For ten minutes. Ten, very long minutes.

When I got home, I opened the garage door and discovered we have another dead varmint rotting away in our walls.

Yeah, I really don't want to remember this day.


During the dinner party on Saturday, one of the kids inadvertently lost the remote for our family room television. You cannot operate the television without the remote. I feel like I'm starring in my own "LIttle House On The Prairie" but honestly? It's been kind of nice. The kids are playing more board games. We're all reading more books. Talking to each other.

But suddenly I think about all of the shows recorded on the DVR and I start to shake. I've furtively thrown every couch cushion every which way. Looked in every nook and cranny. Natta. Zip. So if anyone watches "The Real Housewives of NYC" and something juicy happens? Please take pity on me.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring Broke

I'm whipped. Plum tuckered out.

Some of the country celebrated spring break this week, and even though it was supposed to be work/school, business as usual- we've had quite the time. Last weekend, my family got together to celebrate my older brother turning 40. 40! We rushed home from his shindig in time to greet an old friend that was visiting us for a few days from New York.

Ironically, it was 85 and hot when she arrived, and her family at home was in the midst of a terrible storm and left without power. The orange blossoms are in full bloom over here, and we had one teeny, tiny earthquake- so she got the full California experience. (We also decided to hit Disneyland at 7:30pm on Tuesday night- and between 8pm and midnight, we went on 8 rides: Small World, Pirates, Nemo, Star Tours, Tiki Room, Indiana Jones, Peter Pan & Mr. Toad).

After my houseguest left, we went to a Pirate dinner theater with the grandparents and visiting cousins. It was fun, and I tweeted the entire experience, but if you think the dinner fare at a pirate theater is going to be halfway decent? Think again.

The next day, after school- we hightailed it back to Disneyland. It was a lot more crowded than it was late Tuesday night- but we had a great time hanging out at California Adventure and talked all the little kids into getting on "Soaring" (one of my favorite rides).

Today? We hosted a dinner party for the family that graciously lent us ski stuff for our vacation.

Tomorrow? I'm not getting out of my pajamas. For anyone.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Wake Up Call

Today is a sick day. Sick as in, my four year old was up most of last night puking her brains out, and sick because what I had to live through was way beyond what anyone told me was in the Mom Job Description. We've been lucky. My kids haven't been sick much this year. Just when I realized this, the Gods of Bacteria smiled upon me and thrust the plague of ear infections on my brood once again.

Then last night, at 3am, Lucy cried out the dreaded words no mother wants to hear. "Moooommmm? My tummy doesn't feel too goo....."

She didn't get to finish her sentence.

My dog is not allowed to lick anyone today.

I am forever thankful I bought a Hoover carpet cleaner.

The rest of the night spiraled downhill. Lucy knows I'm a huge fan of Jane Austen, and decided to go all "Pride and Prejudice" and insisted on puking in a bucket, while laying propped up on pillows. No indoor plumbing for my little Elizabeth Bennett. Of course, someone needed to procure the bucket, and that lucky job fell to me. We had many important life discussions during this escapade:

1. We discussed the importance of keeping your mouth OPEN while vomiting.
2. We learned why they call it "waves of nausea".
3. Hey! Let's time your waves! 3:30, 4:00, 4:30, 5:30- Wow! We could almost set a clock by her vomiting skills!
4. Yes, I know you feel better. You just puked. No, you may not drink chocolate milk. My Hoover can only take so much.

So today, we are watching lots of television, stupid pet tricks on youtube, and busting out the carpet cleaner. We look forward to returning to regular programming soon.