Thursday, February 21, 2008

I Wanna Be Sedated

Not a lot of new things happening here folks- just some stress, thrown in with a bit more stress, and a little more stress for added fun. We're in the process of selling one house, renting another one and researching another one to buy that just may be in one of 3 different states. (How's that for fun!) I don't have the kids on any lists for preschools, and this whole moving thing still seems surreal- until my beloved SD house officially hit the market today.

I'm trying to think of something witty and funny- and the best I can come up with is my nervous breakdown at the pediatrician's today. It's not witty, nor funny- but so typical of my life right now. Lucy woke up this morning complaining that "her ear hurt." Couple that with her fever on Monday and I thought we had a nice ear infection. I thought a quick trip to the doc was in order, and quickly secured a 3:15pm appointment.

There is something about a pediatrician's office that is like entering another dimension. Instead of preparing myself for the expected delay, and doing something smart like packing snacks, stickers and other various distractions- yours truly arrived 6 minutes late, with kids that barely had their shoes on and nothing but the gum in my purse to entertain 2 bored anklebiters for AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. The books in the waiting room are either covered in vomit, pooh or influenza, and they are so ripped and torn beyond understanding that Annie thinks Curious George is Cur-- eorg.

They do this bait and switch thing- where they make you wait outside until you are ready to stab your eye out with a pen left by some pharmaceutical rep and then, just when you think you can't take any more, the nurse appears, calls your name and ushers you to a waiting room. AND THEN YOU WAIT SOME MORE. Only this time, there aren't other kids to distract your kids with, or other parents to roll your eyes with, or poopie covered books to infect. I'm convinced they make you wait on purpose, and that they hide behind 2 way mirrors and get all snarky about your parenting skills.

"Look at this one, her kids barely have their shoes on and she looks like she's wearing pajamas."

"Yeah, she's now made them sing Old MacDonald for the fourteenth time."

"How many pieces of gum can that kid chew? That's ridiculous."

"OOH! She's stooped to a new low. She just threatened that four year old with shots. Look! She's pretending to call the nurse to give her shots! The audacity!"

And then, after the doctor pronounces that my Lucy doesn't have an ear infection, she looks quizzically at my response of "Oh Damn." Because, Dear Reader, I was truly hoping a course of antibiotics would make my girl sleep through the night once again. Instead, the doctor laughed and said "Sorry my dear, you've been played. By a two year old." Nice.

1 comment:

Weintribe said...

just wanted you to know that you were not alone yesterday.

I took Ben to the ped for redness and irritation on his "penith", and arrived with NOTHING. nothing to entertain him with. nothing to offer. no snacks. nada.

so ben hid behind a stack of germie toys and pooped and peed in his pants.

and I had no alternative clothing.

it was a proud moment for me...oh so proud of my parenting skills.

at least we DID leave with a prescription. that always makes those tests of patience and fortitude worth it. ;)