Nightmare

I once went to a parenting lecture where the reading specialist (we somehow got off topic) encouraged all of the parents in the room to NEVER talk about your sleeping routines. She said it's nobody's business, and you will just receive huge amounts of guilt for how your family sleeps, and it's really nobody's concern.

I'm going to break that rule. Our bed time routine has deteriorated into a ridiculous carnival of musical beds that is about to drive me insane. We used to be so structured, so militant, but that's all gone. Gone. Gone. 

Now, I tuck both girls in around 8ish. We read them a story, turn on the requisite Winnie the Pooh music, some Christmas night lights bought at Costco, and wait for the party to begin. Usually about halfway through TopChef/The Office/30Rock/The Real Housewives the party begins. The girls get up, they dance, they share books. They have a party. I morph into a Polish washwoman that has run out of Oxyclean and scream like a banshee. Last night, they fell asleep around 9:30. It is not unusual to find Lucy passed out on her floor, one leg over her threshhold, as if she's ready to party if you just give her a nudge.

This doesn't set a good stage for the rest of the night. Around 1am, Annie somehow makes it in our room. She climbs in between us, and it wouldn't be that big of a deal if she didn't turn into a UFC champion and kick the sh*& out of us all night long. Around 4am, Lucy wakes up, realizes she's in her own bed and not passed out on her floor, and starts screaming her head off. 

Last night, I finally hit the wall. I sat both kids down, told them that Mommy and Daddy were here for them if they needed us, but if a twelve hundred pound monster wasn't about to chomp their heads off, they better stay in their own beds. They nodded their heads furiously. To their credit, there was no party last night. No book sharing, no dancing. They each stayed in their own rooms, but one or the other would yell out every few minutes. This lasted for TWO hours. 

After a few hours, Annie tried to make the crawl into the UFC fighting ring. I quickly walked her back to her room, and laid down next to her. After fifteen minutes, I tried to make it out of there quietly. She freaked. She cried. She woke up her sister. But she stayed in her room. She's tired today, but I'm hoping tonight will go better.  It's a sad state of affairs when the dog gets the best night's sleep. And he's locked in a crate. Hmmmmmm..............