Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Festivus!

Today was a challenging day. In my own self centered delusions, I am aware of humanity suffering. I know these times are tough. Jobs are shaky, or non-existent. Christmas is definitely being pared down. But today? Today was the kind of day that made me want to poke my eye ball out with an ice pick. Some nuggets of fun will remain private- but the little things? The little things that made my day worse than Kanye West's singing on this week's Saturday Night Live? Of course I'll share.

One kid didn't sleep. (I know, I know). We started off the morning with a torrential downpour- which, if you live in Southern California, you would think the world is coming to an end. We are so used to our temperate, beautiful days, that all hell breaks loose when it finally rains.  I had to host Lucy's holiday party at school, and it was my job to bring 24 jelly doughnuts that HAD to come from Krispy Kreme (don't ask). This meant I had to drive 15 minutes in the opposite direction, worsening an already annoying commute that makes my head want to explode on a good day. 

I had no gas. A certain someone, who shall remain nameless, but he likes to eat french dips- drove my car yesterday and left me with no gas. So, after wasting 20 minutes trying to convince my toolbox of a puppy that he wouldn't melt in the rain, rallying 2 kids into their raincoats and getting them in the car for a doughnut trek, I got to hit the local gas station and fill'er up with rain dropping into the small of my back.  

The party was good. Fun. Lucy said it was "interesting" to have me there. (Is that toddler code for "Mom? Please don't come to school anymore"?). I was in charge of the cookie decorating table, and after the kids left most of their cookies and moved on to the next activity, I started to throw the cookies away. A few moms ambushed me and started freaking out that I had thrown their stuff out. I started to tell them the story of the lovely stomach bug we had a few weeks ago, and how one little girl was bragging about how she threw up last night but surprise! Her mommy still sent her to school! and how I had witnessed kids smearing their boogers on other cookies, and coming back to the table after using the potty (conveniently stationed only 3 feet from the cookie table) and how one kid sneezed on four cookies at once. I think I lost them when I started doing my Linda Blair impersonation. Whatever. I hope they enjoyed their "treat." 

The day progressed into a series of bickerish conversations, that by bed time, had my entire family wishing they could put the other family members up for sale. Defeated. Irritable. Definitely cranky. Let's just hope I don't throw up too.


Anonymous said...

It's a good thing you were in charge of the cookie table. Someone has to save people from themselves.

Heather said...

People just dont know how to drive in the rain in Southern Cali, lol!