Party Planning For Dummies

We did it.

First big party in this house? Check it off the list. Never you mind that my husband couldn't get out of bed yesterday, or that I took a 4 hour nap. It was worth it. Big parties are no big deal. Effortless. Easy-peasy, chicken squeezy. Especially when you use these ever-so-smart party planning tips...

• Buy your flowers a day before. This gives them a chance to open, and gives off that relaxed, "Hey, I have fresh flowers all the time," feel. My best place to find flowers is Costco. Is your Costco a vortex of unnecessary purchases? Because nothing says "I'm having a party" than a cart filled with tire cleaner and a gallon sized bag of pancake mix. 

• Buy a chevron striped rug from RugsUSA for your daughter's room. Have it delivered day before your party. Realize it will look better in dining room and schlep downstairs. Cooerce your 7 year old into helping you lift rug under heavy table. Over existing rug. Hope guests don't notice the bumps, or that your husband notices you bought new rug.

• Use upcoming party as chance to fix all of the annoying things in your house that drive you nuts. Have a handyman at your house the day before the party. The light in the shower now works! Will now serve cocktails in shower.

• Forget you have Symphony tickets for the morning of the party. Can I peel potatoes during symphony? Smuggle some in purse. Will wait for horns section to kick off before starting potatoes.

• Save your trip to Ikea to buy wine glasses until hours before the party. At this point, you are barely speaking to your spouse, so sending him off on an errand is an excellent idea. Husband specifically asks if he should buy (insert Swedish word for red wine glasses) or (insert Swedish word for white wine glasses). You tell him (Swedish word for white). He buys (insert Swedish word for red). You call him (insert Swedish word for... well, you get my drift). 

• Agonize over centerpiece. Light candles. Reassure worried husband that no one will spill red wine or holiday cocktails on furniture. No one does. But, the dining room table (purchased 6 WEEKS ago) does catch on fire. Luckily, husband has made good use of his (Swedish word for red wine glasses) and laughs it off to a good memory. 

So there you have it! Party planning made easy. We narrowly escaped a call to the fire department, had Australians doing the Gangnam style dance in my family room & are forever blessed to have such good friends to celebrate with. Anyone know a good furniture refinisher?